Gourmet Cuisine Gifts

The best little steak house in the city / The best little hot dog cart in the city.

"Hey Maurice! Take the menu, replace 'dish of the day' with 'local free range speciality' and double the price!"

I can't decide what to read, Gourmet or Weight Watchers.

'Did monsieur enjoy the meal?' - 'I could get more nourishment biting my lip.'

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

"When Picasso was hungry he would swap a painting for a meal. Times change. I am a celebrity chef..."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Michel Roux Jr

Sushi - prawn trapped inside a dish holds up a sign saying 'Help Me'.

Wordplay: Gastronomy.

'We're out of pheasant under glass, M'sieur — is duck soup close enough?'

'This French food is pretty good, except for that beurre bleeech sauce.'

'Noooo! You idiot! For crying out loud! Sear it first! Then a slow oven.'

Cooking Cowboy

"I'm thinking of doing a part time course in hospitality."

Bangers and Mash

"I love this new Farm-to-Dumpster cuisine."

"Well, you can tell them I don't make farce pour mousses de poisons et de crustaces to go."

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

Steak

"It's a de-deconstructed steak and kidney pie."

Black Truffles!

"Changed my mind - I will have the chef's special."

"Which entrée raises the fewest ethical issues?"

"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"The chef recommends butter."

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"Just when you thought every possible permutation of the cookery contest show had been exhausted here's Battlechefs. A cookery contest show on a ship!"

'I wish I had eaten all that bread.'

'It's an acquired taste!'

'Eggs Benedict. . . Aren't we feeling 1% this morning?!'

"Excuse me for wanting to broaden our culinary horizons."