Gourmet Dining Gifts

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

Grass Snobs

"May I suggest a wine and a filter setting?"

'S'more wine?'

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

"Not the Cape May lump blue-claw crab cake with crème fraîche, fried quail egg, osetra caviar, duck confit, and peach con frutti again?!!"

"And what is your preference in wine-single or double figures?"

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

"Pat? de fois gras avec des petits pois et pommes de terre au gratin? Very well, sir ? is generic okay?"

"Four said they'd had better, three said it was disgusting and the other one will be waiting for you in the car park!"

'Personally, I've always liked Bordeaux with my Swiss.'

"I hear the school paper gave the cafeteria 5 stars!"

Oyster Bar.

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

Chef looking up confused, Waiter behind him with pancake on his head.

'Be careful, Chuck, you're getting some of it in your mouth.'

'In my opinion it's slightly too thin and light on the palette.' - 'That's your water.'

'I drink wine for enjoyment, my husband drinks it for analysis.'

'Dear, here's de cantor you asked for, but he swears he doesn't know a thing about aerating wine.'

"I'm very sorry, but you can't have the Chianti. White wine goes with poultry."

La Table

"I'll have the dressing on the side in a handblown glass container on a bamboo cloth with a sprig of something delicate placed gently nearby."

"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

"The best hot dogs in the city should be hard to get."

"This place has the best vegan nachos!"

"How'd I get here?" "Well, you did say that the chocolate lava cake you had, covered with flecks of real gold, is to die for, right?" "Oh, yeah."

"Bob, no! You don't drown in white wine with steak!"

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne