Gourmet Diners Gifts

'Enjoy?...How?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I come here for the pepper."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Countervailing Clichés.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer