Agrarian Gourmet Gifts

'For what we are about to receive...'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"The bagels are better in New York."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"It's made with real angel hair."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."