Grassy Gourmet Gifts

"I want to be strictly vegetarian Mum, so I need to make sure I don't eat bugs with my grass..."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Queen of Quinoa

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Tarzan of the Grapes.

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Pie chart"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

(No caption). Woman looks at cookie sheet which contains two cookies. One is a frowning gingerbread man whose arm, leg and part of its stomach have been bitten off. The second cookie is a smiling gingerbread man who has a very full stomach.

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

'It takes all day to eat it.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."