Grassy Gourmet Pillows

"I want to be strictly vegetarian Mum, so I need to make sure I don't eat bugs with my grass..."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Queen of Quinoa

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

Stuffing the turkey.

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"Pie chart"

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'The doctor said my body is 40% fat. These cookies are only 20% fat. That's got to help.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'I'll have the 'All of the above.''

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Pigs feet, sir? 'ARE THEY PICKLED?'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

'It takes all day to eat it.'

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

"And for dessert we offer death by chocolate, after life sponge, or the damned for eternity tart."

'Oof.'