Gourmet Grazer Pillows

Home Vending Machine.

In The Olive Garden, we harvest bread sticks year round.

'Oof.'

"No, thank you. I'd prefer seeing a menu from the restaurant across the street."

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

Beach Barbecue

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

Queen of Quinoa

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

'Whatever he's eating.'

Stuffing the turkey.

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

'Are you sure you washed this salad?'

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."