Agrarian Gourmet T-Shirts

'For what we are about to receive...'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

"All our donuts are hand fried in what will eventually become biofuel."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Stuffing the turkey.

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

" 'Unlimited salad bar' sounded better on the menu."

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"It's made with real angel hair."

"I didn't know they could make so many entrees with vegetables!"

"I'm getting subtle hints of chlorophyll."

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'