Gourmet Grubber Gifts

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

The wonderful world of cheese.

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

La Table

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Beach Barbecue

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."