Gourmet Grumbler Gifts

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Le Bolshie Chef.

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

"Waiter, will this meal be much longer? That's the third time you've replaced my candle!"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

The Cat's Alarm Clock

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'House wine?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Can I help it if she's a rotten teacher?'

Today: Tomato Surprise. Of course the tomato surprise doesn't impress you, sir … You’re not a tomato.

'Soufle, can I have the blueprint?.'

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'