Travel Grumbler Gifts

Heathrow Protesters - This airport's rubbish!

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

The Cat's Alarm Clock

Rodin's Irish Judge

"Don't worry, boss, he ain't gonna be takin' his shoes off on an airplane no more."

Boring and unnecessary meetings

"The planet is all wobbly this morning."

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"We saw some inspired lunacy, then had some uninspired Italian."

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'Why does the phone always have to ring when I'm out of the bath?!'

'Mum! Mum!... My egg's gone all runny!'

Man - 'This coffee tastes like mud!' Woman - 'It was ground this morning.'

Le Bolshie Chef.

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

"The sooner they take you off vice patrols the better."

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'No, I'm still standing in this stupid line looking at the back of somebody's stupid head.'

"Perfect weather,wounderful food...and it all distracted me from spending the whole day at my computer terminal!"

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

'Irritable bowl syndrome'

"Teaching's a joy until the first bell. Then the whole day's ruined."

"Where's the snooze button on this thing?" "Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!"

'I hate Mondays!'

"If you are angry at being kept on hold, press 1, if you are furious press 2, if you are apoplectic with rage ..."

"Whoever invented the obituary page is a real jerk."

'We've figured out your problem. You're allergic to grapes.'

"All done with winter, are we, dear?"

Supermarket Self Service Checkout

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

Contact Sport Lens.

'I know it's the thought that counts, it's just I didn't realise a human was capable of thinking so low!'

Inside-of-Body-Experience

"Waiter, will this meal be much longer? That's the third time you've replaced my candle!"