Grub Gourmet Gifts

'Whoa, I gotta lay off the grubs.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Main Types of Cheese

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop