Gourmet Gas Guzzler Gifts

Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, Veal Stock

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Beach Barbecue

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The Main Types of Cheese

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Eight wiener dogs, and six rolls. It's just not right.'

"Fresh pepper spray?"

Sister Cities

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'This place is really classy. They bring the microwave right to your table!'

'You'll find it has a bouquet reminiscent of cherries and chocolate, a silky texture and best of all, for me, a 72% gross margin.'

'To be honest I'm sick of truffles.'

'Whatever he's eating.'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'House wine?'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

"I think it's important to have a hobby outside of work...mine is eating chocolate."

Oil shock.

"Fresh ground anti-depressants?"

"I see you've discovered the heirloom Twinkies."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."