Gorilla Guru Gifts

"Look, I'd rather be free, too, but at least we're not in a zoo anymore."

"Seriously, things are getting crazier by the day: now there are three documentary crews fighting over filming us..."

'Why wait for evolution? Get your intelligence now.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"Yep. I felt the tranquiliser dart, but it hit me after my fifth coffee of the morning, so I pretended to fall asleep: Boy those scientists got a scare!"

Tartine

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

Carmel Buildings, Portman Square: A temperance meeting.

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Best Before 5th Pint.

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

Life on Earth - The original chat room.

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

"Whine and cheezed party."

"welcome man cave."

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

Quiz Night...

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

"If I had known how adult her place was I would have brought nicer beer."

"I was a weirdo in this town before anyone even heard of Comic Con."

'Does the hunter I just ate make me look fat?'

"Now that's just low-down mean."

'Mr. Kong?'

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."