Gorilla Lover Gifts

'You'd make a great Secretary of state, but we have an 800-pound gorilla problem.'

"Hold it right there buster! Is that a wedding ring I can see?"

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

Swinging through the jungle.

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

"That's his answer to everything!"

"Now that's just low-down mean."

'Mr. Kong?'

'Honey, I need the Drano again!'

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'They took me off the endangered species list? They wouldn't dare!'

'You're not the only eight hundred pound gorilla in the room, you know.'

'That's what we evolved from.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'Why wait for evolution? Get your intelligence now.'

Turn that noise down !

"Aw, geez. I wanted a whitewall."

'Our son might be 'Lord Greystoke' and all now, but he still writes to us when he needs advice...'

'Get my lawyer on the phone. This is not the way you treat a celebrity.'

'Wrong building you big ape.'

'Do you have The Jungle Book? I don't know why, but he's desperate to read it.'

"Hands up!"

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

"My business plan? Well, all my friends are addicted, so if I can get access to potatoes and set up a deep fryer, I'll be rich!"