Gorilla Fan Gifts

"Please, no flash photography! It reminds him of his embarrassingly awkward yearbook photo!"

'There's something about beig locked up with a 500-pound gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

'Mr. Kong?'

'Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not a speaking gorilla. I won 'extreme body make-over' twice in a row.'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Ping Kong

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

"I love an ape, secure in his masculinity!"

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Giant gorilla peers at female victim. She says into cellphone: "I can't talk now, he's right here."

Swinging through the jungle.

"Give us a chip."

Tokyo City Limits

"Now that's just low-down mean."

"He was chained to his kennel, and since I have opposable thumbs, I was able to remove his collar and set him free..."

"Good grief, Wilson! At least act like you're enjoying it! It's for my blog!"

'Honey, I need the Drano again!'

Doug finally got a chance to use his karate and he forgot to make the ceremonial bow.'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'The truth is, Gorillas don't even like bananas...They just love pratfalls.'

'They took me off the endangered species list? They wouldn't dare!'

"Surf's up."

And make sure my daughter is back by 10pm: You really don't want to see me angry!

'You're not the only eight hundred pound gorilla in the room, you know.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

'That's what we evolved from.'

"Mikey and Bubbles: Gorilla songwriters"

'Blah, blah, blah....'

'Why wait for evolution? Get your intelligence now.'

Turn that noise down !

'Wrong building you big ape.'