Going Through A Tough Time In Marriage Gifts

"I spy with my little eye something heading toward divorce."

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"Are you crazy? I can’t tell her that!"

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"He doesn't fiscally stimulate me anymore."

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

'I told my wife she had to choose between me and that precious boat of her's. She called my bluff. Can I sleep on your couch?'

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Will I still be married?'

"We're only staying together for the sake of our marriage guidance counsellor."

"We were so happy doc. . . but then she changed!"

"I liked it better when we just had your people call my people."

"Can I call you back, I'm engaged in crisis talks."

'We don't text anymore.'

'He's not the man I married. In fact, none of them are.'

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

'Oh it is nice to get away from it all.'

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

"The law is a jealous mistress, something wives just have to understand."

"Well yes, I've been away for a long time, but you knew I worked on a Pirate Ship when we got married..."

"Yes, ma'am, we do take reservations...and what's your husband's name?"

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

"I've taken the liberty of adding eight thousand dollars to your check so that, while you're stunned with disbelief, I can bang your wife."

"I guess the honeymoon's over. My husband got me a gift card for a psychotherapist for our anniversary."

'The only thing we have in common is that we're in love with the same woman.'

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

"O.K., class, next we'll pound out the dough until that ungrateful, self-centered son of a bitch realizes he's not the center of the world, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn't deserve an attractive, well-educated woman with a wonderful sense of humor."

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

'In defense of forgetting our anniversary, I forgot we're married.'

"If you want a positive outlook, you're going to have to turn you chair around."

'The only thing we have in common anymore is the kids are driving us both nuts!'