Godly Satire Fan Gifts

God changes His will.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Gates of heaven

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'All the tellers are nuns.'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

"Hallelujah!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Moral Outrage.

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

Holy Relics.

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Religious toilets.