Godly Humor Fan Gifts

That guy? He does static shock.

Think fast!

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Dogma

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

A woman in prayer

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Om and Ommer