Godly Humor Fan Pillows

Think fast!

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"You call this a constitution?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Dogma

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

A woman in prayer

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"