Godly Humorist Pillows

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Fine. You can have music. I'll be the god of ... of ... speedy delivery! I will be The Fleet-Footed Messenger of the Gods.'

"Gee, I always figured him for No. 1!"

"Do you smell something burning?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"We only got six days of funding."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Well, we needed the rain."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Surgery up here is free!"

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

The Adventures of God

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."