God Humorist Pillows

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Guess who brought king cake!"

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Well, we needed the rain."

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Divine Desk Bins

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."