God Humorist Gifts

"Excuse me, but it's GREG, Greg Chalmers."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Guess who brought king cake!"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Well, we needed the rain."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Divine Desk Bins

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'We'd better speed up the Eve project -- Adam's got himself an imaginary playmate.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

Pope tarts.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."