Godly Humor Lovers Gifts

Zeus lights a cigar with a lightning bolt.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Do you think that's wise?'

Fishing with God

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Divine Desk Bins

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

'Please take your receipt!'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Quick, follow that star

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

The Burning Bush: How God convinced Moses to Lead His people a.k.a. the origin of s'mores.

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

Pre-nuptual Nativity

'I'm sorry, but I can't let you on board unless there's a Mrs Bigfoot.'

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

Nativity - The sitcom

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"I'm sick and tired of hearing about your operation, Adam!"

"This is Sweden, not Eden."

"Thanks Moses, but I prefer my water bottled."

Churchwarden Talking to Rector