Godly Humor Aficionados Gifts

God's attempt to stay incognito failed.

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Divine Desk Bins

Noah's life jacket demonstration

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Three Parent Baby

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"OK, OK, Dad. I'm up... I'm up."

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."

'Great! So I'll run these by the focus groups and see how they go over.'

God changes His will.

"Did he say 'commandments' or 'suggestions'?"

Moses after forty years in the desserts...

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

'I said, 'Roses.' Stop and smell the Roses!'

'You went and ate in the apple orchard, didn't you?'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

Holy water cooler moments

"She's not a happy camper, he forgot to make the booking, someone's in for a silent night!"

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

Noah's arc - dove brings newspaper.

'Thank you for calling the Pearly Gates.. your prayers are important to us and may be monitored for training purposes.'

Manna Helper