Godly Comedy Aficionado Gifts

"My name is Bacchus, Roman God of Wine ... and I'm an alcoholic."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"You call this a constitution?"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

"OMG, LOL!"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Divine Desk Bins

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

A woman in prayer

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

God's Law.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

Three Parent Baby

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Excommunicate Me.

"First, do no ham."