Religion And Satire Fan Gifts

"They should talk to you, some of your sermons are like dental surgery"

"It was better before God took up knitting."

A surprise in heaven

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Gates of heaven

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'All the tellers are nuns.'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Moral Outrage.

About to take a triumphant departure from Ireland, Saint Patrick set his sights on world domination. That is, before his focus was diverted by a small harmless looking beverage.

Religious toilets.

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."