Faith And Satire Fan Gifts

'Jonah, I sentence you to six months in whale...'

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Gates of heaven

'Think of an essay as a collection of tweets only joined together.'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"Hallelujah!"

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

"The Brother printer is out of ink."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Moral Outrage.

Religious toilets.