Church Satire Fan Gifts

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

Finger puppets in church.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Church restrooms

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Minister Starts at a New Church

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

Thwarting the Boys from Brazil

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Holy Roller Church: We accept all denominations, but we are especially fond of $20, $50, $100, & $500...

Eucharist

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

Moral Outrage.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'