Church Satire Fan Gifts

"And to those of you who did contribute to the church fund—our blessings."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

A surprise in heaven

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Church restrooms

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Finger puppets in church.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Eucharist

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Hallelujah!"

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'It's a devil to start on these damp November Sunday mornings - luckily we have a sidesman who works for the AA.'

Moral Outrage.

'I hate the new vicar's cheese and wine parties.'

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

"Can we discuss this?"

Pastor wearing sunglasses against the hymns.