Church Satire Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, Henderson, you were the one who thought we should give him a free hand."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

Gates of heaven

Church restrooms

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

Finger puppets in church.

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

The Old Enemies - Catholics and Protestants

'All the tellers are nuns.'

Eucharist

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"Wake up! Brother Billy's finished praying."

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Does this mean we lose our security deposit?

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'