Church Satirist Gifts

There are plenty of great jobs for women in the Catholic Church!

Broke? Declare Yourself a Church and Burn

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

'All right - which country in Europe are you from?'

The road to conclave.

Sign above fire extinguisher case says, 'In Case of Fire and Brimstone Break Glass'.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'It's a new commandment by the church of Danae...thou shalt make room for donuts.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"If you think you made a stink pulling the fruit, try pulling His finger."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Monk Prompt

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

"...and in conclusion..."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

The ten ammendments

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'Even More Disciples'

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

Bishops Snooker

Cheap Labour Countries.