Church Satirist Pillows

There are plenty of great jobs for women in the Catholic Church!

"I'm getting earthy overtones of guilt, with just a hint of sexual frustration."

'All right - which country in Europe are you from?'

The road to conclave.

Sign above fire extinguisher case says, 'In Case of Fire and Brimstone Break Glass'.

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'It's a new commandment by the church of Danae...thou shalt make room for donuts.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Monk Prompt

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

The ten ammendments

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

The Sleeping Congregation.

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

Cheap Labour Countries.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Finger puppets in church.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

Church restrooms

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."