Christian Satirist Pillows

The ten ammendments

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

How's my sermon. . .

Bishops Snooker

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

Cheap Labour Countries.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

"'Host' and Cheese?"

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

'And He sayeth unto me, 'Behold this second set of my commandments, rendered in stone, large-print edition...''