Christian Satirist Pillows

The ten ammendments

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Relax, folks! I’m a lawyer. I can always find loopholes!"

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'..Then people will say, 'Why can't dogs get married?'.. And then, 'Why can't cats and dogs marry?'..'

How's my sermon. . .

How James and John became known as "Sons of Thunder".

Master Artists' Computer Graphics: Michelangelo's 'God's Creation of the Adam Computer.'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Bishops Snooker

Cheap Labour Countries.

Priest with the Pet Devil.

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

'Verily, Noah, the flood I am about to unleash is retribution for Tory defections to UKIP!'

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"Of course there's an afterlife. It's called 'death'."

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'Still no money, but a lot more IOU's than usual!'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

'Kill all the Canaanites? -- Won't that set a bad precedent?'

"Pastor, since you refuse to respond to my emails I decided to print off a list of all my objections to your messages."