Christian Humorists Pillows

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

Monk Prompt

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

How's my sermon. . .

'Even More Disciples'

Bishops Snooker

The Sleeping Congregation.

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"...and in conclusion..."

The ten ammendments

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'I noticed you don't sleep during the sermons anymore.'

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

'Any chance these are available in paperback?'

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"That's my boy!"

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

Delivery of Sermon within 30 minutes or your second one's FREE!

'I appreciate you enthusiasm...but please stop doing the Wave.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."