Gluten-free Evangelist Gifts

'Our computers are 100% gluten-free.'

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

Modern Witch Shoppe

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Buffet - now glutton free.

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

Gluten-Free Church

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

Allergen Lab. That wheat protein is surrounded by antibodies, but he's not backing down! He's a real gluten for punishment!

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

The Diabetic Hummingbird Feeder

"My parents will only let me marry someone who's gluten-free."

"Run! It's Armagluten!"

"I'm pretty sure the alcohol neutralizes the gluten."