Gluten-free Lifestyle Devotee Gifts

"The state of the world has pushed Henry wayyyy beyond his fear of gluten."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

Modern Witch Shoppe

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

Buffet - now glutton free.

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

Allergen Lab. That wheat protein is surrounded by antibodies, but he's not backing down! He's a real gluten for punishment!

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"Is this house gluten-free?"

Gluten-Free Church

'Maybe she's gluten intolerant.'

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"Run! It's Armagluten!"