Gluten-free Lifestyle Gifts

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"The gluten is free. The pizza, however, cost $12.95."

"The state of the world has pushed Henry wayyyy beyond his fear of gluten."

"With religion and politics off the table, the only thing left to argue about is gluten."

'Our computers are 100% gluten-free.'

Man eating Gluten

"I can only protest capitalism until noon. My mom said Whole Foods was out of GF bread and vegan cheese so she didn't pack my lunch."

"This was supposed to be 'Gluten-Free Comedy Night.' Which means no wheat jokes."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"I want to leave myself some caloric margin of error for dessert."

How to cope in Los Angeles vs. New York

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

'My wife's on a diet. So far she's lost her personality.'

Modern Witch Shoppe

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

Books or Junk Food.

'Don't worry. His diet's only last a day or two.'

Buffet - now glutton free.