Gifted Dilettantes Gifts

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

The singles bar...

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

Time Out Room

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

"Why is living my best life so fattening?"

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Good knight ... sweet prince. She's trying to decide who to date.

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

Novice plumbers replacing a washer in a leaky faucet.

Man paints himself into corner.

'And then he yells MAN EATER and I say, MAN EATER?! MOI?!!'

Nope, that's not what you have either! Man, you stink at 20 questions!

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

"You know how last year you told me you'd teach me how to pick up ladies?"

'Damn, this guy swiped my pick up line.'