Devilry Dilettante Gifts

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Garlic Free Zone.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'House wine?'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'What superpower would I like? Normally, invisibility, but as I'm a 53 year old female, I feel that I've already been granted it.'

"Dating advice from your old man? Ew, weird. Instead, let's ask Stinky Rick."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

Rusty and Molly's first date was going beautifully until the 'car tyre incident.

'Are you fit, attractive male...?'

The singles bar...

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

I had a great time tonight, and I'd like to see you again in 4-6 months. When doctors date.

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

Good knight ... sweet prince. She's trying to decide who to date.