Devout Dilettante Gifts

He's gone too far this time. Rudy? He said he's decided to become a person of faith. He said it's the hip thing to be. But he's not totally clear on the concept. I'm not available on Sundays. Oh, come on now.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

"...I try to communicate with Desmond, but all he ever does is grunt."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

The singles bar...

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

The Man sits with 2 devils on his shoulders.

Time Out Room

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

"I spilled the beans last night so I wouldn't have to eat them."

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Prisoner to other: 'But what I actually ended up doing was consolidating all my debts into one ten-year sentence.'

'He has trouble choosing what he wants.'

Up, down, whatever (elevator with apathy)

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

IRS. Pay Taxes Here. It's the amount owe

'If you want somewhere quiet and without crowds...I recommend Greece.'

Freeway exits: Should, Woulda, Coulda.

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."