Spiritual Dilettante Gifts

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Should I buy or sell?'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

The singles bar...

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

One Way/Two Ways.

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

Time Out Room

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

'He has trouble choosing what he wants.'