Devilish Dilettante Gifts

Demon with his tail caught in the holy book of an unaware monk

Garlic Free Zone.

'What we need is a decision, not more foot-dragging.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'House wine?'

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

They used a scientific method to decide which new product idea to pursue.

"The job stress was already bad enough, but now I have to choose between 56 flavors of coffee."

The singles bar...

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

Time Out Room

'He has trouble choosing what he wants.'

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Denial as a form of corporate negotiation.

'Dressage? But Son, what about something more virile like Rodeo or Polo?'

Up, down, whatever (elevator with apathy)

'If you're ready, who wants to go first?'

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

"Eenie meenie miney mo..."

"Let's see which decision gets reversed first."

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

'If you must give me withering glances, could you focus on me and spare the plants?'