Demonology Dilettante Gifts

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

Garlic Free Zone.

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'House wine?'

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

The singles bar...

Time Out Room

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

'If you're ready, who wants to go first?'

Chinese noodles.

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

Bark bark bark bark

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

"Which comes first - the chicken salad or the egg salad?"

'Good gracious, no, nothing for me. I'll just scavenge after my friends have left the table.'

"How we doing for tips today?"

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

"Are you still working on that?"

'What happened between design and development?'

Kid in corner to parent: 'When will I be eligible for parole?'