Divine Dilettantes Gifts

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

The Salvador Deli

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

The singles bar...

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

'I sure hope this 'timeout' thing is just a phase with Mom.'

Time Out Room

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

'You don't do faith healing do you?'

'I don't need a GPS. I'm guided by greed.'

Chinese noodles.

'Lucifer casts out into Hell'

Winooski - A camp for sort of gifted boys.

'The only problem being a Beefeater is that I'm a vegetarian.'

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

'I asked them to behave like adults, and they ranted, they raved, and they cussed a blue streak!'

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

"We had special places in hell but what with the influx of baby boomers we're putting people wherever we can."

Kid in corner to parent: 'When will I be eligible for parole?'

'You have what we in the medical profession call an enlarged appetite.'

Demon with his tail caught in the holy book of an unaware monk

Man and dog puzzled by blank signpost

'Are you SURE that you didn't say a little prayer before you had your turn?'

'Mr. Doan says he has a bachelor's degree, but I happen to know he's married.'

Life in the Dark Ages...

"David can't find anything without the sat nav these days."

Bernice prepares her pantry for gluten-free cooking