Book Dilettante Gifts

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'House wine?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

Mrs. H.G.Wells.

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

'Since we modified your daughter's digital cellular structure, she's experienced a lot of ringing in her ears. If you need me to check her status, I'll be on call.'

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The singles bar...

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

"I don't care what his name was. When I said I needed a Philips head, I meant a screwdriver you idiot!"

"You are headed south. Your destination is straight ahead."

Time Out Room

"How could I flunk? All my answers came straight from Siri."

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"