Book Dilettante Pillows

'College textbooks sure are expensive. Luckily, I saved a fortune by using eTexts. Now I have to see if I can buy used eTexts.'

Garlic Free Zone.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'House wine?'

"You've called tech-support so often that it was decided that it's more practical if I just come and live with you."

"Go ahead. Click on 'I Am Not A Robot.' I dare you."

"I asked a designer to come in and give the office a needed pick-me-up...probably should have been a little more specific."

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Turn around at the next junction, turn around now! Turn around immediately - you've forgotten your handbags!

"How much do I need? How much you got?"

"You told me to make a desktop shortcut, so I did. Just take the shortcut I made through the mess."

'I'm trying to figure out online shopping. I've found some pants I like, but I can't find a fitting room.'

"Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

"Lost all track fo time with you. 93 unread messages!"

"It's called a mobile... but I've been here an hour and have yet to see it move."

'Erm...I ordered the omlette!'

"I'd text you, but I haven't learnt to spell yet."

"My husband is ambidextrous....completely useless with either hand!"

I'm beginning to realize you can't cram 10 gigabytes of information into a one-gigabyte brain.

The singles bar...

"'Scuse me, Officer, but where do the elite meet to eat around here?"

"Go ahead. Don't think of it as plagiarism, think of it as an homage."

'Excuse me - Which way is Southwestern North Carolina?'

Time Out Room

"What's my password? Oh yeah... 'OnCe upona thimeh.'"

"I wrote a wonderful eulogy... unfortunately my computer crashed and I lost it."

'Ambiance or non-ambiance?'