Ghostwriter Humorist Gifts

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

It's an autobiography of a guy who spent his whole life trying to get his first @#^& book published. Editor.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Writer Puppet

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Meet The Ghostwriter

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

Eye of Newt Helper

It says, Did you know you can now call up any spirit for just 10

'It's just more pro-parent spin.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

"Loads of top US writers have whole teams to support them

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'Meet the Author!'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

'You're going to meet a tall dark stranger.'

'Thanks Uncle Steve! There's nothing like a good ghosted story at Christmas.'

Pet Cemetery.

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."