Ghostwriter Humorist Pillows

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Meet The Author"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"I got those famous last words you wanted"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a ghost writer."

John Ixon: Ran Out of Survival Tips.

Writer Puppet

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

Meet The Ghostwriter

A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

'It's just more pro-parent spin.'

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

Eye of Newt Helper

"Loads of top US writers have whole teams to support them

Whaaaah!(Scarey ghost shaped fart).

'Seriously, Earl, if you say you've got a bone to pick with me one more time, I'm out of here.'

'Meet the Author!'

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

"I need some help to write my self-help book..."

Pet Cemetery.

"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."

'You're going to meet a tall dark stranger.'