Speechwriter Humorist Pillows

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

Information...political rhetoric

"He's very disciplined about his writing, every morning he stares at the keyboard for at least 4 hours before he allows himself a cup of tea!"

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Kultural K9's.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

T.S. Eliot lacks the courage to eat a peach.

'Friends, lab rats, country mice, lend me your ears...'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Hamlet in the craft shop.

Encyclopedic Novel Slam.