Speech Therapy Humorist Pillows

'Say 'AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAA', Mr Tazan.'

I am a thnake ....

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"You're completely screwed up."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"How long have I had what problem?"

Computer help.

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?